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At school she was mocked for her feminine appearance, so she kept to herself. At least she had the friendship of panaam sisters and the warmth of her mother's love. Then, when she was 14, her father died unexpectedly and the family lost their only source of income. Monica felt she had to support the family. She'd heard that there was an appetite in Panama City for transgender sex workers, and that the money was good.
Monica waited in the queue of men, who smirked as they saw her.
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No, but it's regular and it means I can look after my family. At 38, she has now been putting up with this for 24 years.
It had come directly from the police. She wanted to keep looking after her family.
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Arriving home from the shop, Monica's phone buzzed with a WhatsApp message. She went out to the bank after the statement was released - on a day that women were allowed to leave home - and a police officer approached her.
They're apnama single, one recently having left an abusive relationship, and aren't working. Then, when she was 14, her father died unexpectedly and the family lost their only source of income. Monica felt she had to support the family.
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She decided to go to a larger supermarket and paama all the supplies they would need for a couple of pamama. Almost at that very moment, six police officers approached Monica, singling her out in the long queue. One of them squeezed my breasts in the search and said, laughing, 'You're not a woman,' and repeated a transphobic slur.
He said he felt bad he had sent her home empty-handed, and not to worry about sending her sisters out to fetch the chicken, he'd bring it over himself. But this time her experience was even worse.
There was kindness in her community and that would help during the lockdown. It sadly isn't an isolated incident. When she arrived she ed the queue to get in, but it was worryingly long.
She made a decision to go out the following day - men's day, the day of her biological sex. Monica had never felt more alone. At the corner shop, the apologetic owner explained to Monica that it was not his wish to ask her to leave at all.
Neither is Monica's mother. Eight family members share the home. Time was ticking escodts. At least she had the friendship of her sisters and the warmth of her mother's love. She'd heard that there was an appetite in Panama City for transgender sex workers, and that the money was good.
I just want to be able to take care of my family. Her two sisters have children, four between them.
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It was the shopkeeper. But she didn't want to rely on handouts during the pandemic. Under the rules of Panama's lockdown each person is allowed out three days per week, but even on those days they can only leave the house for two hours at a time, depending on the on their identity card. While sex work is legal in Panama, that doesn't mean it comes without stigma, and Monica says the neighbourhood police have taunted her for years, driving past on their motorbikes shouting homophobic and transphobic words as she goes out to work.
Monica, stilldecided that would be the best way to provide for her family. At school she was mocked for her feminine appearance, so she kept to herself. Following an open letter by Human Rights Watch to the Panama presidency, citing mistreatment of trans people by Panama police, Panama's Ministry of Public Security released a statement this week saying that it had "instructed the security forces to avoid any type of discrimination against the LGBTI population" during lockdown.
Coronavirus: they grabbed my breasts and said, 'you're not a woman'
When do I go out? However, he says it's unclear what "avoiding discrimination" means - and when exactly trans people are allowed out of the house. Then the two hours were up.
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